… for charitable solicitations by telephone. Here’s my new solution.
It’s been going on since before the elections, but I fear it’s only just getting up to speed. I dislike having to tell someone to hang it in their ear, but there is no way I am going to make a contribution to ANYTHING over the phone.
Today, I had a stroke of genius. It’s not quite as abrupt as Seinfeld’s response, but I think it might be effective. Hopefully it won’t backfire like Kramer’s MovieFone experience (link caution: 1 offensive word).
From now on, if I answer the phone and get a solicitation, I will say, “Oh, I’m sorry- let me transfer you. [Professional customer service voice] Hello. If you would like this household to contribute to your organization, please send us a self-addressed stamped envelope including your program information. We request that our phone number be removed from your call list. If you believe you have reached this message in error, please press 1 now. Thank you. [If “1” is pressed] You have reached the mailbox for the ___ household customer service center. Please leave your message now.” (It’s all in the intonation.)
At least I now have a civilized script so I don’t lose my cool when pressed by a desperate volunteer or salesperson. I’ll let you know how it goes. Even better, feel free to try it yourself and let me know how it goes for you!